Simple Words...So Difficult
10:56 PM
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
Simple Words...So Difficult
12:06 AM
damn suay. the moment i stepped out of the hse den it started to rain. wahx! faints. the time i planned for my travel cannot take the long long route de. budden rain so i no choice. argh! lol!
den yea, was late. bud by a few minute onli. dots. tried to plead with him usin the 'soft' method no use. den tried the 'hard' wae bud to no avail too. den ren ming lo. pay den pay. hahaha!
watched cinderella. dunno is tt show lan or we dunno hw to watch. mie and dear interpret the story differently de. he sae the surgeon's real daughter is a ghost. den i sae is human. den we think of the whole plot so differently de. lol!
took the train home todae and den dunno why mie suddenly mood no gd. he sae he wanted to see the wallpaper on my fone and i dont wan let him see. den still show faces and attitude. haa! sorrie la dear. think i a bit sot le.
den we quarrelled over tt stupid thing nor. hahaha! cos of a wallpaper issue. dots. anibody seen a thing more stupid de mahx. lol. nw think back also find it funni.
den after tt no more quarrel den i owe him a punishment. wahx. he tt greedy pig. ask for so much. go die. rarr!!! for nth den i get myself this punishment again. haa!
wad a suay dae for mie! lol! this blog is written in a veri chinese style. hahaha! dunno why. think too long nv do chinese stuff le. den miss it? lol. quite lazy todae so no pics. hee =)
Simple Words...So Difficult
12:12 AM
todae woke up so early cos goin meet my dear budden dunno why slack at home until i become late again. hahaha!
i was on the mrt and he called. den he was like so lame. tell mie he at boon keng station. dots. till now i still dont believe nor. bud dunno why he arnd clementi area suddenly will show up. weird! i still dont understand how come he will be there. lol! hmmm... *wonderin.
nah. this part's dedicated to my dear: i noe euu veri gd at tellin lies de lo. i den nt so stupid believe euu. bleahx =p and i realli nt with any guys or whoever when i'm on the bus. realli dunno why euu will hear a guy's voice. maybe it's jus the stranger beside mie. i dunno who also. piggy dear, must believe mie ok? haa.
den went to his hse slack the whole dae. den went home. lol! tired tired.
den gt home was like so so tired. didnt go and bathe straight awae. jus dont feel like moving. it's as though my bones gonna break liao. so jus lay on the sofa and watched tv till my mum came home and nag at mie. den no choice so force myself go take a quick shower.
hais. almost fell aslp while bathin. somebody should go and invent a machine tt will help ppl to bathe de. den tt person jus sit down there no need anything one. hahaha! gd suggestion rite. came out from shower like 45 mins later den continued watchin tv.
den after tt was like 11pm. no show to watch. must wait till 11.30pm den continue watchin tv so came to write this blog. lol. wahx. my show start le. gotta run!!! =)
well, todae's pic all veri ugly. bud nvm. here's the pics of the dae :
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Simple Words...So Difficult
11:43 PM
Simple Words...So Difficult
10:46 PM
Saw bunny and rong at hougang mrt. Haa! So long didnt meet up with euu guys le. *Misses =) Rong says tt she wave at mie bud i didnt see! Haiyoyo. Eyes gt prob liao. Next time must shout at mie ok? Lol. Aniwae, they goin for job interview. Ahh! So xinfu. Mie still havent go find work. Dots. Die le lo.
Den walk walk dunno why suddenly felt so tired. Gt tt slpy bug buggin mie again. Hee. So kept complainin wan go home slp. Sis sae wan go this place and tt place den i keep sayin 'dont wan. i wan go home le.' Den she keep suggestin this and tt until i wan faint liao. Hahaha!
Went to grab a bite after tt cos feelin veri tired. Cant walk animore. Lol. Den i dunno why my food gt the stupid mayonnaise. I dont hate it bud jus dont like la. Find the taste weird. A bit of it still can accept budden my one is like the whole plate is full of mayo! Gosh. Disgusting. Haa! Was so so bored after eatin tt i began to play with the food. I mean the mayo. Haa!
The place there was like so cold. Freezin cold. So we finished our food and went out to the open. Saw this guy workin at hmm. Forget the name of tt shop. His hair was like omg! The left side green den the right side black and the fringe brown. No taste! Hahaha!
He was like so damn act cool la. Go collect plates etc also wan act cool den ended up dropping all his cans. Haa! So have to pick it up again. So much for actin cool. And i was like tellin my sis, 'orbi. act cool den dropped all the cans den in the end have to pick up.' And we were like laughing so hysterically tt he turned over and look. So we tried to control our laughter. Think he knows we're talkin abt him liao. Lol.
Went home soon after cos sis cant stand my whinning le. Yay! Finally get to slp le! Hahaha!
Pics of the dae:
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Simple Words...So Difficult
11:18 PM
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street andthere was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street. He'd been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute."
"What did you do?" asks the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
Simple Words...So Difficult
12:18 AM
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Simple Words...So Difficult
12:17 AM